Ode to Gizmo (Worlds worst computer,now)

Well, where do I start? As I am reading through everyone’s posts, I realize that some of you have much older machines than I do. They are old, broken, slow, clogged, small and unequipped. Wow. I am not a techy. My daughter prompted me to write this. I think she is fed up. She is working on her Senior Project for High School graduation requirements and she is a photographer and wants to go into Graphic Design next year at a Community College. She has to use the High School’s computer to work on all of her projects.
In 2004, I purchased what I thought was a great deal from Dell. I friend called me to tell me that Dell was putting a model on sale. I never stopped to ask why they do that, I spent $800.00 on an Inspiron 5160. I was so excited to have my first PC. My daughter felt we should name it and she came up with the name “Gizmo”. Giz (for short) became our best friend. Giz opened up the world of communication to the outside for us. (Yes, we live out in the boonies.) Back then, dial-up was it! We didn’t care how slow he was, we bought programs and joined Tagged and started into the world of Instant Messaging (well, the slower kind of IM, dial-up, remember)! Whoooohoooo! At that time, I did not know about how much space it would have for what we needed. It was only 500MB.
Over the next 2 years, I was faithful in trying to take care of Giz, keeping him updated, downloading a registry cleaner, updating his windows systems and anti-virus, gently thanking him for his faithfulness each time I walked by, and then, it happened. He stopped working! He didn’t even turn on! (Did that sound weird?) I had no money to fix him so he sat……and sat………and sat, until we finally raised the funds to take him to the doctor. Well, the doc found that the receptacle where I plugged in his cord had broken inside. Then I got the bad news that it was welded directly to his mother board and he would not be coming home till I forked out $500 for a new mom (I thought I was his mom)and another $250 for labor & misc parts. They cleaned him out, and(8 weeks later), with borrowed money, I brought Giz home and finally placed him back in his “Special Place”(on top of the cooling pad that still continues this day to feed him the oxygen he desperately needs to keep from overheating. (Hmmmm, overheating, maybe he is a she. I think I’m having the same….hotflashes!) He’s never been the same Giz since I brought him home, that was when he started showing signs of dementia. Anyway, his cd/dvd Rom does not work anymore, his battery is dead, he seems to get heavier the more he lays around(maybe it’s just me but he weighs a ton), I can’t update him on dial-up without him spitting out the phone line an knocking me off-line, he is temperamental in his old age and HE decides when to turn off for the night. I continue to baby him and keep him clean but that doesn’t seem to keep him from regularly deciding to “Not Respond” or make me wait 10 minutes to allow him to decide if HE wants to open that file. I have taken off most of the programs and all of the pictures but still have Office 2003 so I can still do my word processing but I don’t save the files, just print them and send them to the abyss so as not to upset his delicate digestive system. I always have teenagers at my house and they know his name. Of course, I don’t allow them to talk about him when they are in the family room. That’s where Giz stays. They think I’m crazy but I’m just divorced and broke and can’t afford anything else and Giz has been the only thing in the household that doesn’t talk back. So why do I say he is the worst computer in America? Well, he wasn’t back in his day, but now, he is. (Shhhh, he can’t see this, I’m writing and sending this on a friends computer.) It is time I take him off of the life support and allow him to go quietly (to wherever computers go). I’m sorry I let things go this long, this bad. Well done, my good and faithful friend.